Sunday, October 27, 2019

Baby Roomba


Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not ungrateful but having a roomba is like keeping up with a little kid.  My daughter, Becky, gave us her old roomba, but it is such a pain to keep up with.  Our living room curtains go to the floor, and it hangs up there.  The roomba gets stuck under the kitchen table and can’t seem to find its way out of the forest of chair legs.  Then it hangs up on the extension cords and lamp cords and the Dish and TV cords in the living room.  I left it working last Wednesday, but I couldn’t find it when I came home.  I looked under beds, under chests and dressers - it was nowhere to be found.  I finally found it in the spare bedroom where it had wandered in, got behind the door and managed to bump the door shut.  Of course, it ran out of its charge and died in the corner.  I have to dump out its small bin constantly, just like changing diapers on a baby.  Just like a two-year-old, I have to watch it constantly and can’t trust it home alone.  Oh well.  A small price to pay for such a “convenience”.

Dryer Problems


Yesterday, I did a load of dark clothes.  No big deal, except when I put them in the dryer, I got busy, the dryer finished, and one of my dress shirts and three of my wife’s tops were left to wrinkle.  So, I started the dryer again to fluff them up.  But I got busy again and they were left smashed under jeans and towels.  So, yesterday afternoon, I had a brilliant idea.  I had accumulated a half-load of dark clothes, so I put the dress things back into the washer with the half-load to unwrinkle them by washing them again.  And then back into the dryer they all went.  But, of course, you are ahead of me, and you are right.  I forgot them in the dryer a third time.  So, I got out the cotton stuff, poured a cup of water onto a towel, and started the dryer again.  This time I remembered the dress clothes … and boy are they clean!

Saturday, October 26, 2019

Stealing


The company guard knew that the employee was stealing, but he couldn’t prove it.  He searched the employee after his shift even going through his lunch pail.  But nothing.  Year after year, it was a game of “cat and mouse” and the mouse won.  Finally, the employee retired.  On the last day, the guard admitted defeat.  He said, “I know you’ve been stealing from the company, but I could never prove it.  How did you get away with it?  What have you been stealing all of these years?”  The retiring employee said, “I’ve been stealing lunch pails.”  And he walked out.