Monday Morning

Monday morning, I dropped off my wife at dialysis and ate breakfast at Jack’s in Ft. Oglethorpe.  I needed some AAA batteries, so I stopped by Lowe’s and got a small pack of four.  I didn’t even get a bag; I just stuffed them in my jacket pocket and walked out with my receipt.  I had to pick up some milk and eggs, so I went by Walmart on the way home.  I got the milk and eggs and on the way to the check-out kiosks, I noticed the display of batteries.  They had a four-pack of AAA batteries like the ones that I had just bought at Lowe’s (which I still had in my jacket pocket).  I pulled them out, and they were exactly the same, but for a dollar less.  I put my Lowe’s batteries back into my pocket and continued on to the check-out area.  After paying for my milk and eggs, I passed through the exit door when a man came up behind me and grabbed me by the arm laying his other hand on my back.  “Come with me,” he said.  And then he showed me a Walmart security badge under his jacket.  He led me back into the store, around the corner, and into a little room where he sat me down.  He began, “I saw you steal those batteries.”  And then it dawned on me.  I smiled and said, “Oh no, I just bought them at Lowe’s and was comparing them with your batteries.”  He coldly said, “Do you have a receipt?”  My heart sank.  “The receipt is in my car,” I said.  “Can I go get it?”  He rolled his eyes and said, “Let’s go,” and guided me through the door, down a long hallway, and into another room.  “Sit down here,” he said gruffly, and sat me down beside a teenager in handcuffs.  Then he left, locking the door behind himself.  I looked around nervously and smiled sheepishly at the teenager.  He said, “What did you take?”  He must have been there for shoplifting too … only I was innocent!  After I explained my situation, he chuckled and said, “They’ve got you.  They don’t care about your story.  They have security film, and they’ll start the tape just where they want to, and you’re in big trouble.”  I began to protest, but he was right.  I was in big trouble.  I could produce the receipt, but that would only be after they had me booked at the Ft. Oglethorpe city jail.  The boy said, “Your only hope is to get out of that window over there and fast.”  I saw the window across the room and realized the difficult situation that I was in.  It only took a second for me to get up, walk over, and slide open the window. I put one leg outside just as I heard the door unlock and the security man come in.  He ran over and began to pull my other leg, just like I am pulling your leg right now.  Gotcha!  Proverbs 17:22, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine …”